Gift Giving Tips

OK, I am about to violate a major rule of the Women's Club.  Yes, for all of you men who have been wondering, there is a club. Yes, we have a secret handshake and instead of passing messages via carrier pigeon we pass them from woman to woman in restrooms all across the world--that is why we always go to the bathroom in pairs.

So anyway, back to the rule violation. I am about to give you just a little bit of insight into what makes women tick.

With the holiday season approaching, I thought I would offer up some tips to consider when purchasing presents for the woman in your life. Here they are:

1) Anything that cleans anything, is not a present. It is either a hint or an insult--scratch that, it is both.

2) Acne medication, wrinkle revitalizer, or anything of the sort is not a gift either. Refer to #1 to see what it is.

3) Money is not a gift because it was half ours to start with.

4) Men's robes and men's watches were made for men, not women.

5) Sexy underwear, leather thongs or setting up the video camera in the bedroom are gifts for you, not us.

6) Asking us what we want means you don't listen when we talk or you don't really know us or a whole host of other things that are very, very bad.

7) Almost everything advertised on jewelry commercials is ugly. Don't fall for the happy woman in the ad.

8) When we say we don't want anything or agree that buying something big for the house instead of exchanging presents, we don't mean it.

9) If you get a great idea--something that reminds you of when you were dating--make sure it was actually her you were dating and not the woman before her.

10) And the last tip is this: no, you can't get it right. No matter what you do it will be wrong and badly wrapped.

Chris

Comments

[Capitalist Infidel]

Since we can't get it right I'm sticking with the sexy underwear.

Hmmmmm, maybe that's why I've been married twice and engaged another time.

[Chuck]

So,
No diamonds then? Usually, when I am stuck, I default to diamonds and sapphires. Sometimes pearls, sometimes rubies, but mostly diamonds.

I did get her a microwave once, and once a VCR, but I've also given a mother's ring and gold silver platinum rind trifecta. So I sprinkle poor choices in with sparkly things.

So what do I get the woman who has given so much (especially this year) and already has everything she could ever want (namely, the kids)?

I was thinking about a new bass boat...

[Solveig Haugland]

Great idea! Everyone needs help with ideas and the cross-gender gift giving is even tougher.

Gift ideas I like include:
- anything using a great photo or photos of the guy and his honey, framed nicely. shutterfly.com has an easy way to upload photos and just make an album, so an album of pictures from the last year of the two of you together and/or with friends is nice.
- for someone who has enough Stuff already, an experience is nice. Send her and her friends to an all-day spa experience; sign the two of you up for dance lessons; take her for a surprise weekend up in the mountains to somewhere with a fireplace, hot tub, and of course champagne or mulled wine.
- for the socially responsible crowd, there are sites like tenthousandvillages.com and tarsian.com that sell products from artisans living in disadvantaged locations.
- a kit you assemble based on her interests is nice. A winter reading kit with big interesting hardcover books, a pretty throw blanket, and a pretty mug with coffee or cocoa is a great gift, esp if you make sure she has time to do the reading.

~ Solveig

[Chris L]

Just under the surface of the silly jokes about how woman cannot be pleased, is the realization that it's just hunky doory to poke fun at men, over and over and over and over.....
But seriously, if it is simpler to please men, and you hint to that w/ reference to video in the bedroom etc., then why are so many men walking around frustrated and unfulfilled, when it is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS what men want. At the same time, you admit its near impossible to please a woman. So which gender complicates relationships?

[Deoxy]

A good list, overall, and with #10, at least your're honest.

And what Chris L. said, double +1.

[Kim]

Just goes to show you what estrogen does, huh? Is there ever balance? I like the the ideas of a day at a spa, massge, or better yet a trip to the sunny beach! Forget the jewelry, I'd be mad at how much it costs...I could have gotten two massages. Good humor!

[Christmas Gift Ideas]

One of the things that make Christmas special is the spirit of giving. As children we can’t wait for Christmas morning to open presents. We thought in terms of receiving. As adults we think in terms of giving. And hopefully, our unique Christmas gift ideas are gifts of love. Men look for just the right gifts for women. Women usually shop for men, their own children as well as others, and for family and friends. Here are some suggestions to get you started. http://unique-christmas-gift-ideas-tips.blogspot.com .