Two Babes and a Brain

She's Baaack!

Haven't heard from Ms. Coulter much in the past year, unless you count her committing voter fraud. But here she is, trying to make a splash. Must have a new book coming out or something.

Chris

Hold me; I'm Scared!

I'm not upset that Ann Coulter plagiarized much of her book or many of her columns. I think it is hysterical that she can't manage to master footnotes: how tough is it? Every word processing program does it for you. I am upset, however, that there are other people out there who write the vile crap that she does from whom she could steal...that is just scary. Another link to the story...

Chris

I'm Back...

As you know, my computers were down, which left Lisa in charge of everything yesterday. Well, the computers are fixed and I'm back. Lisa took advantage of my absence to write about Ann Coulter...most commonly known around here as Queen of the Lizard People.

I thought today, I would have my say...:o) Seriously, if you want to know what I think of Ann Coulter you can go here, here or here...I want to talk about another part of the controversy.

Michelle Malkin says about this whole uproar:

Unfortunately, lost in all the hype and hyperbole on both sides is the central point about the absolute moral authority the MSM confers on victims they agree with--while victims whose politics they do not share can't get the time of day. Ann told Sean Hannity today she hopes her comments will demolish the "liberal infallibility" the MSM confers on its faves. Ironically, IMO, the facade has already eroded considerably--thanks to new media, talk radio, Fox News, etc.

Update: To those who commented, Sorry guys, I hadn't finished. You might want to take it all back now...:0)

Where are the comments about the spouses of those who agree with Bush's policies? The woman whose husband said, "Let's Roll." I've seen her on TV more than I've seen these other women.

I hate it when I almost agree with Ms. Coulter, but as I've said before, even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.

Some of the families of 9/11, in many ways, have become professional victims.
I do not mean to imply that they are "enjoying" their tragedy (only Ms. Coulter could come up with something like that) but, and I don't think anyone can argue, they haven't moved on.

"The families of 9/11" are entitled to their politics as is everyone but maybe the media--all of the media including wind bag Sean Hannity--should stop asking them to come be on TV. 9/11 belongs to everyone and it should have changed the way we all see the world. It drives me nuts that "the families" have held up rebuilding at the World Trade Center site. It drives me nuts that they think they have final approval over everything from memorials to movies to political decisions

America was attacked and it happened to all of us.

Long ago we should have started building something there that would say "Screw You" to the guys who did it. There should be businesses there. It should be, at least, the symbol it once was. Right now, it is a symbol of political correctness and bureaucratic red tape.

We paid these families millions of dollars--both federally funded and privately raised and when you read about many of these families, they have squandered the money, gambled or thrown it away and now can't provide for their children. The families of our military don't receive one tenth what these people did and they carry on. They stand strong and contribute to the strength of our country.

The United States, in order to be what we once were, to be as strong as I know we can be, needs to move on. Remember? Yes. Learn from it? Yes. But it is time to get on with it.

Of course, only Ann Coulter could say it the way she did. Only she could be so hateful as to sell books on the backs of other people's tragedy while insulting them. I bet her shrink needs therapy.

She had better hope the world is "Godless." Cuz if we aren't, hell is holding a seat for her.

Chris

As an aside, the only hope we have is that earthlings will rise up and triumph over the Lizard people before Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity mate and the eggs hatch...if that happens, all will be lost. :o)

I couldn't resist...

There is a caption contest over at Crooks and Liars...and while I will refrain from playing, you never know when the censors will drop in, maybe you would like to.

To check out other suggestions go here.

Chris

Ann Coulter and My Home Town

Ann Coulter is at it again. In her latest column at Townhall.com, she smacks President Bush around so badly that even I felt bad for him. She is on some kind of rampage that involves pointing out how President Bush and Republicans don't really believe America is a great country. All of that was fine with me, at least she took a break from picking on the Democrats.

Then she went too far and brought her vile insanity to my little corner of the earth--Cranston, RI.

Ann Coulter's Mouth

I've recently discovered, thanks to Ann Coulter, that because of something you said or did 20, 30 or 40 years ago, we don't have to listen to anything you say. If we find something you said or did 20 years ago morally repugnant or illegal or wrong then we don't have to give your words or ideas any consideration. Seems strange that the Republicans are arguing that Judge Roberts position when he was in law school is not necessarily reflective of his position now--but OK. But according to Ann Coulter every time you open your mouth all we need do is invoke your mistake or crime.

Well, I heard a rumor that Ann Coulter is a reformed Deadhead and we all know what went on at those concerts. I think this knowledge disqualifies her from speaking on the subject of morality. So, every time she opens her mouth from now on I think someone should launch into a description of what she must of looked like toking on a joint heading out to the parking lot with a group of equally stoned boys to...well...um, you get the picture.

While every man listening to the description would be held rapt at attention--pardon the pun--at least the women wouldn't have to hear her yammering. Besides, med don't really care what she says so long as her lips are moving...

Chris

Oh, I'm sorry...was that snarky?

Ann Coulter was on O'Reilly...

Ann Coulter was on O'Reilly tonight. O'Reilly asked her about what Colonels Hunt and Cowan had to say last night...

She was less than enthusiastic. Called them background noise. Said they were carping. Asked what the point was of saying on TV that things were going badly in Iraq. Um...how about it's true? How about maybe people will force their elected officials to fight this war the right way? How about we might fire the people who are not fighting the war correctly and put some people in there who want to win instead of people who want to play politics.

Ann Coulter has never been my favorite person. She is even less so tonight. She is not qualified to talk about how it is going in Iraq--particularly when going against what two experts in the field.

She is vile. She is Queen of the Lizard People.

Chris

Ann Coulter and Her Cheery Disposition...

Well, Ann Coulter is spreading sunshine where ever she goes again. Read it at your own risk. It is vile. But you didn't expect anything different, did you?

Ann Coulter and Her Picture

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard that Ann Coulter had her picture taken—and she didn’t like it.

Time Magazine did a piece on Ms. Coulter and put her picture on the cover. Now, I know that she is a conservative and that Time Magazine has been branded “liberal”—but even if that’s true--and I’m not arguing it—you think she’d be happy that the other side was forced to acknowledge her. She should be walking around happy saying that she is a force to be reckoned with.

But, she didn’t like the picture.

While on Hannity and Colmes she complained that in the picture her “…feet are the size of the Atlantic Ocean, and (her) head is the size of a tiny little ant."

Ms. Coulter takes herself way too seriously. She obviously isn’t married—because if she was she’d be thankful that they used that photo instead of the one her husband took of her when she was 9 months pregnant. She obviously doesn’t have kids because if she did this photo wouldn’t be half as humiliating as the time her 11 month old screamed and had a melt down when he saw her hair up in rollers for the first time.

When asked about the content of the piece—which according to all sources—is pretty favorable, she replied, “I haven't read the article and I'm not going to. I'm in a perfectly good mood. I don't want to read it and get ticked off, and have it be ruined.

Now, I looked at the picture and it is true that it’s not the best one I’ve seen of her but its not hideous. (I didn’t notice her feet, but her knees look inordinately large…) They didn’t catch her standing in line at the buffet table stuffing her face. They didn’t catch her picking her nose, or adjusting her underwear. She doesn’t have her nose in her armpit. It is just not Republican pornography like this picture, which you can find on Ms. Coulter’s website.

Time Magazine actually said some nice things about her, which now that I think about it, is probably one of the signs of the Apocalypse—but she won’t read it for fear it will ruin her mood. We wouldn’t want that! The stuff she has written while in a good mood is scary enough.

I think a baseball bat's the most effective way to go after liberals..."

“I only regret that Timothy McVeigh did not go to The New York Times building..."

I shudder at the thought of what vile and hateful things would come from her brain while in a bad mood.

Anyway, I just want to say that if Time Magazine wants to put me on the cover they can use any old bad picture they want. In fact, here are some now.  

Ann Coulter--Queen of the Lizard People

So, I lost a bet to my husband. For the record, it had nothing to do with politics. It was about my kids. I don’t bet on politics—there is always an intern out there somewhere just waiting to take a “sure thing” and make it a loser. Anyway, I lost the bet and got to choose my punishment. I could either read Ann Coulter’s new book or, well, the other option involved a French maid outfit. Knowing that the shoes that come with that outfit would have been hell on my feet and Bill O’Reilly told me to boycott all things French, I chose Coulter’s book. After having read it, I see the error of my ways. I would, now, certainly cut off both my feet and become a French citizen if I could avoid the torture of being exposed to her mind. But it’s too late now!

Somehow reading her book is like looking directly into the sun. You are both blinded and amazed; except, having my eyes explode like a hot dog in a microwave sounds like more fun.

Ann Coulter claims that she is the little guy. She has been discriminated against for years because of the bias in the liberal media. She goes back and forth between being proud of and complaining that most publications will not run her columns. She claims that this is because of her conservative views. I think it’s because she is obnoxious--but hey what do I know? She talks about the times in here life when she had so little work that she was almost broke and a mere scant seconds away from living under a bridge. I think this is a lie, mostly because she has a law degree and probably could have gotten a job doing something—but also because if she had ever been remotely close to living under a bridge--she’d be a Democrat.

But,Ann Coulter is not a democrat. She’s not even like the conservatives I know. She is a Lizard Person. Let me explain. When I was a kid there was a show on TV called V. It stood for Visitors. The Visitors came from outer space but had adopted a human form. At night, they shed, molted or unzipped their skin and took on their reptilian form. The Visitors claimed they were here for peaceful reasons, but they were really here on earth to steal the water and enslave humankind. Ann Coulter is Queen of the Lizard People.

Sure, she looks harmless enough. She’s even attractive--if you like that kind of thing. She repeatedly refers to herself as a “98 pound weakling” in her book. She should be harmless, but she is a Lizard Person and looks can be and are deceiving.

Basically her book is a collection of her past columns in which she kicks around Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy; to which I would like to say, “Honey, shooting fish in a barrel is not actually a sport, nor is it hard.” Ted Kennedy is a dinosaur. Bill Clinton is a pig. OK, you win. Now what?

She also informed me that Democrats are for abortion on demand, hate the United States, love the Soviet Union and support murderers, rapists and Klu Klux Klan members. Since I am a member of the Democratic Party, naturally I was surprised. I got the memo updating the secret handshake but the one that tells me I am in favor of all of the things she mentions must have gotten lost in the mail. Oh, in the spirit of fairness, I did already actually know that all Democrats cheat on their spouses and then lie about it. I didn’t, however, read anywhere in her book that Republicans do it too, which given the number of revelations and resignations during Clinton’s impeachment proceedings, we know is true.

I also discovered that as a member of the Democratic Party I don’t believe in God and have contempt for the opinions of normal people. Oh, and I also learned that as a Democrat, I celebrate every time “…a fork…” is shoved into the brain of a fetus.

What I like about Coulter is that she learned how to play the game. She manipulates statistics as well as anyone at the New York Times—which according to her is guilty of treason about seventy two times a day. She is strong in her positions—which given how inane they are, takes courage; and she never lets facts get in her way.

I also find it kind of cute that she has a crush on Bill Clinton but doesn’t feel like she can tell him. She is trying to get his attention by talking about sex and Clinton incessantly. I think it’s kind of cute, even if it is juvenile.

The scary thing about Ann Coulter is that as a Lizard Person she does have some mind control capabilities. There are those weak earthlings out there who haven fallen under her spell. It’s a shame, but it’s true. So now, I will have to abandon my SECRET midnight strategy sessions with the Democrats (where we decide how to turn the United States into the Soviet Union) and take up with the Resistance movement. Our goal will be to rid earth of all the Lizard People—just like Coulter says we should do with Muslims.

In a different world we would have rounded up the Lizard People and put them in jail, but we can’t do that now. Arresting and putting the Lizard People on trial, simply isn’t enough. Coulter points out that anyone who thinks the US is in the grips of a civil liberties crisis isn’t after the “same goal,” i.e. the safety of the United States. And on this point, alas, she is right. It is too important. The fate of the free world is on the line, so, extending out her line of reasoning regarding Muslims to the threat we now face from the Lizard People, we will simply have to act preemptively and kill them all.

I know this is tough stuff. It’s not pretty. Take solace in the fact that the Queen has not chosen to reproduce, otherwise, there would be millions of little Lizard Eggs all over the place and someone would have to stick a fork in all of them and make omelets. And who would we get to do it, since the democrats are already busy doing it to fetuses all over the country?