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  • Welcome to Two Babes and a Brain. No, you didn’t read it wrong. We are called Two Babes and a Brain. Yes TWO WOMEN ONE BRAIN. And yes, before you ask, we are ready to take all the comments and jokes that come with that. Allow us to explain. Children fry your brain cells. They suck the intelligence right out of you. They cause you to stare blankly at objects wondering how to use them to do bodily harm—usually you imagine doing bodily harm to yourself because if you do bodily harm to your children, DCYF will have to get involved and that just takes up time you don’t have because---you have children. The two women who run this blog have six children between them. Therefore, they are short on brain power. After some serious mathematical calculations they have come to the conclusion that together they have a total of ONE brain. They feel lucky to have this. Now, on to the Babe issue. To be a Babe, you don’t have to look like Carmen Electra or Katherine Zata Jones. It’s a state of mind. It’s being comfortable in your own skin. A Babe has her own opinions about issues, whether you are talking about politics, sports, education or even the War on Terror. Chris and Lisa definitely have their opinions about almost everything. That’s one reason they created Two Babes and a Brain. And when their opinions are on opposite sides, look out. Katy, bar the door and batten down the hatches cause sh#t’s gonna hit the fan. Chris and Lisa extend an invitation to you to post your comments, questions and yes, even dissenting opinions. But be warned, they love nothing better than a good juicy debate.

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Half A Chance

Lucky you--you get to read my homework...Assignment: OpEd on policy issue, 750 words, including title

Half a Chance
by Christine Hunsinger

“Mom, what the heck is a test tube baby?”
That was the  yesterday’s question of the day from my ten-year old son.
I explained it, told him that they aren’t called test tube babies any more and asked him where he heard the phrase.
“I read it in my book.”
“What book?”
“Life in Ancient Times.”
Ba-dum bum. He thinks he’s funny.

The exchange made me think about the things that have changed substantially since I was a kid. When I was in schoolhis age, there were no kids like my son in public schools. Back then, kids like him were sent to “special schools.” Go back another ten years, only ancient times if you’re a ten year old, and they were sent to institutions. My son, actually,  Bboth my sons, are autistic.  It must seem like ancient times to 

him.

Special Education is a fairly new phenomenon. It’s just in the last thirty years that we’ve discovered that a learning disability doesn’t always mean you can’t learn; sometimes it simply means you learn differently. The law now recognizes that public schools have an obligation to educate these kids;, educators and specialists have developed ways to do it and parents have found hope that it will be done.

Years ago, when my boys were diagnosed with Autismautism, I read a study that proclaimed, fifty percent of children with aAutism can become typical learners and productive members of society if they receive the right kind of help early on. I didn’t really believe it, and I since feelings trump math, I always silently believed “that fifty percent” meant that, if I was truly lucky, one of my boys would make it and, one wouldn’t. If That’s if I was lucky. But that the statistic stuck with me and in the dark corners of my mind, on the days when I wanted to give up, just quit and go drink MaMargaritasi Tai’s on the beach, “fifty percent” was the magic phrase that made me keep trying.

On September, 24, 2007, an article appeared on the front page of the Providence Journal detailing some of the changes that the state of Rhode Island plans to make to the Special Education program:; topping the list are larger class sizes. and no extended school year. Make no mistake,mistake; these changes are driven guided by only by a desire to save money.

We are always looking for ways to save money and in the field of education, first up on the budget chopping blocks are the Special Ed programs. This past year Cranston and the state, level- funded education. As a result, the Cranston School Department cut over a million dollars from Special Education, before they made any other cuts.

I suspect the reason we look to cut Special Ed first is that most of us don’t have kids with learning disabilities. H If we’re being honestly, most of us don’t really believe these kids can learn, but . they can. To a lot of us, Special Education seems like the promotion of the fantasy that these kids will, someday, be normal.

When my boys were in the “Significant Needs” program; they were in a class of six students. That specialized attention helped me get my miracles. While that might seem like an inefficient use of resources to you,; to my family , it was something close to a miracle.

It’s been five years since the diagnoses, and both boys are in typical classrooms, doing grade level work. They have friends and take karate lessons, ride horses and soon, will start piano lessons., making friends and functioning in their world. If you saw them, you’d think they were just typical kids. They still receive some help, but they are on their way to living normal lives. When they are adults, their father and I won’t have to support them. When we die, the state won’t have to support them. In fact, they’ll be helping to support others with the money they pay in taxes.
Will either one of them be President? I don’t know--; will your kid?

In general, we Americans are not long-term thinkers. Our cities, our states and especially our federal government —don’t seem to plan for next week--, never mind next year or five years down the road. They But they should-- though; we should. If ever there was a compelling case of, “pay for it now or pay more for it later,” this is it.

The other day, I ran into one of the Directors of Special Education. She was excited. She told me, that since they started educating these kinds ofse kids in the right programs with the right teachers and the right supports, “fifty percent” of them had gone from self-contained classrooms to normal classrooms. Half were succeeding in typical classrooms.

The proposed changes to the Special Education regulations will keep others from getting their miracles. It’s time we figure out how to pay for the things these our kids need. It’s time we figure out how to pay for the things our kids need. It’s time we decide what a miracle is worth. It’s time to give these our kids half a chance.


















Friday, September 21, 2007

I'm mortified...

Today was just one of those days.

It started out fine but then I got a call from the principal at my kid's school saying that she wanted to talk to me.

Apparently, my child is a bad sport. He chased after a kid because the kid blocked him from catching the football during recess. It turned into some kind of scene and she thought I should know.

OK, fine. Not a huge deal. Not good, but I don't see UNICEF getting involved.

Then there was the other thing...

My daughter who is 7 was playing in the neighborhood with some of the more questionable kids. I try to stay out of the friend choosing process. I figure life is what it is and you have to learn how to cope and learn to be strong enough to do the right thing in spite of the idiots in this world. The only way to learn that is to try and fail and try again.

These kids, my daughter included, picked the apples off of a neighbors tree to throw at a bees nest. They picked lots of apples. My daughter is a juvenile delinquent and a vandal.

I told my son he couldn't play football at recess for a week and I marched my daughter and her felon friends over to the neighbor's house and stood there while they apologized. I told her I haven't figured out her punishment yet. For now, I just keep giving her the disappointed look.

I am mortified. They are really young. Where did I go wrong and what military school can I send them to?

Sigh...

Chris

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Countdown Begins...

9 Days until school starts for the kids. I don't start until September 5th. I am slightly behind the power curve and not ready for them to go back. Oh don't get me wrong, I want them to go back, I just haven't bought the stuff they need.

I blame TV. I haven't seen the commercial that signifies it is time to get ready and it is pissing me off.

Staples used to have a commercial that showed parents skating through the store while the Christmas song, "It's the most wonderful time of the year..." plays in the background.

It's not on anymore. They've replaced it with some stupid Easy Button cheer leading thing. I want my commercial!

I checked YouTube and it isn''t there.

Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Grumble, grumble...

#$@!#$%^&@##

Chris

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Ramblings on Children and Reading and the Kitchen Sink

I think I had a point when I started this post but I got lost in memories about all the good books i read as a kid and probably didn't make it. Feel free to add your own...

Lots of talk lately about how people are raising their kids, what they want them exposed to and who should make those choices. It's a serious thing. I know that I struggle every day with how to raise my kids to be good people as well as independent and productive citizens. NEWSFLASH: I probably screw up more than I succeed.

The thing that surprises me, is how in our children's lives we are. It seems that there is nothing we don't involve ourselves in. I read an article in the NYT this morning about Junie B. books. I like Junie B. books, They are, to me, age appropriate, funny, teach lessons about bad behavior and I think, truly describe children at that age. They also give me a chance to read in my best southern accent to a cadence that the book demands that is totally different from NE Speech patterns. The kids will gather round just to hear Mom talk funny. I didn't know there was a whole movement to get rid of them because the lead character--who is 5--misspells words and uses improper grammar.

I come from the school of thought that anything that gets young kids to read is a good thing. Anything that makes reading catch fire and causes it to become a habit is something you should make available to your kids. We own  number of Captain Underpants books--even though I hate them. They are full of fart noises and poop stories and boy stuff. i don't like them but we own them because when my kids showed no interest in reading they were good to have around. The fact that I didn't like them was actually extra incentive to pick one up and read it and then tell me about it.

Continue reading "Ramblings on Children and Reading and the Kitchen Sink" »

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Brazen Hussy...

I used to think that there was nobility in staying sober and unmedicated as a parent. I am rethinking that.

My eight year old son Zachary has a...girlfriend? He and this girl have been best friends for two years. She came over to play a few weeks ago and she and Zach held hands down the water slide and played non-stop for hours. She gets him on some level that most people don't. When he needs a break, she entertains herself and waits for him and then when he is ready, off they go to play again. Sounds wonderful, right? After she left that day, I asked Zach if he had a good time and he said yes. He asked me, "did you see Gianna's face?" Being a Mom, I thought she hurt herself and I asked him what she did to her face and he said, "No, no, no...did you see her beautiful face?" Sounds nice, right? I am not so sure.

We went to her house the other day to play. Kaileigh and the girl's younger brother came running outside to tell us that Zach and his girlfriend were "almost kissing." Hmmm...

On the way home, I asked Zach if he had "almost kissed" Gianna and he said yes. He then told me that they were going to get married when they grew up and then I could die and he would do all the chores and he could be naked.

I love the part where I get to die...

I seriously need a drink or a prescription...

Chris

Monday, June 25, 2007

A Reminder...

Yesterday, I spent my day at a karate tournament. The kids, and my husband, all take karate. I watch. It's not my thing. I think it is fine for them but I also think that, sometimes, it can be a little much. I often say that, "I signed my kids up for karate lessons, I didn't join the Marines." They are little and sometimes it seem a little too involved--but it's exercise, it teaches discipline and they love it.

They all started at the same time and have been keeping pace with each other. We realize that that might not always be the case--that someone might emerge from the pack as better--and we vowed to let them all carry on at their natural pace--not insist that the others rush to catch up or hold someone back.

The tournament yesterday was for their blue belt. In the course of other tournaments, Jacob and Kaileigh had both won medals in sparring. (Sparring is karate for watching two kids beat the crap out of each other.) Zach didn't really get the sparring thing. First tournament, he didn't want to do it. Too hot. Too noisy. And Zach, powerhouse that he is, doesn't like to hurt people. Second tournament he did it, but he did it like they do it in class. He's hit the other guy and then stop. In a tournament, you are supposed to keep pummeling away until the ref says stop.

Yesterday, Zachary kicked ass. He won all four of his matches and took the gold medal for his age division. Kaileigh took the gold for her age division as well. It wasn't Jacob's day.

So, if no one ever wins another medal in karate, that is just fine with me. I am happy that they all tried something, worked at it and proved to themselves--and me--that they could do it. Zach is proud as hell, as are his brother and sister. Their karate instructor is blown away.

Parents think I am nuts because I love it when school gets out. I love it! I love it because after IEP season, after sitting in meetings hours long for days on end where everyone tells you that your kid is doing well but eventually will hit a ceiling and won't be able to go any further is mind numbing and no matter how much you try, they plant that seed in your head. You don't show it, but the questions, "is this it? is this as far as he goes?" are there.

Summer gives me the chance to remember that my kids are kids. That they succeed or fail on their own not because of some diagnosis. It gives me a chance to remember that they  have, so far, never not reached a goal we set for them; anything we have asked them to do, they have found a way to do. Summer reminds me that they are kids, with the whole world in front of them and that anything is possible.

Chris

Monday, June 18, 2007

3 More Days...

That is all that is left in this school year. I can not wait. I need a break from the Cranston Public School System. However, the end of the school year is nuts. Parties that need cupcakes, 3,456 birthday parties that require presents, and a rain forest of paper coming home.

I have stopped doing teacher presents for the most part. I simply can't afford it. It I were to give a token gift to every teacher and specialist who dealt with my child--including bus drivers, because we have to include everyone, I would need 25 presents. So, I'm not doing it.

Well, not for everyone. My middle son is leaving his school to transfer to a different on next year. No one wants him to leave but budgets and school departments being what they are there really isn't a choice. There are some teachers there that I want to buy presents for. There are teachers there that have made a huge difference in his life. If not for them, it is quite possible that Zach would be living somewhere else because we might not have been able to handle him.

So, how do you say thank you for that? What kind of present do you give a teacher who worked with you so you could keep your son?

Suggestions would be appreciated.

Chris

Saturday, February 03, 2007

More on Motherhood...

It's true. Lisa and I have become lazy as far as the blog goes. We both have things going on that require huge time commitments and we have been phoning it in here on the blog. I fully expect that Lisa will show up in the comment section telling me to speak for myself but we all know the truth. :O)

So, I finally had some time today to play around with the blog. There are now more ads here on TwoBabes than you will find in your Sunday paper which is kinda funny since never once have we earned a penny off of them...but they look cute, so you'll have to put up with them for now.

I've been visiting some Mom pages...and have updated the Motherhood page with some new links. My favorite thing about these pages is they seem like real Moms. There are tales every mother can relate to, descriptions of all the gross stuff that goes into and comes out of their children and they have wicked funny names for their kids.."Cletus the former Fetus," "Creep"...it all just makes me laugh.

If you get a second pop over their and say hey...from the TwoBabes crowd. Meanwhile, there is a new post on the Motherhood page...

Chris

P.S. After I published this, I installed firefox on my computer and now the spellchecker has returned to my Typepad which means I am out of excuses to misspell things. Damn! Hey look! I can change the font size again too....Wow! Only a year to figure out how to use my Mac...kinda/sorta...anyway...cooooooooool

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Unbelievable

Check out this kid.... she is amazing...and only 11 years old.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcOOOebe7fs

Lisa

PS...Thanx Lucy

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Shoes, Dogs and Serial Killers....

A week ago, I took the kids shopping for new shoes. It was a rainy, icky day and everyone was in a foul mood; no one wanted to go shoe shopping. Zachary, my middle kid, was particularly spacey that day and was in full autistic-flapping mode. Jacob, my oldest, was doing his thing--being totally embarrassed of the flapping kid he no longer acknowledges as his brother, and Kaileigh was being...well--Kaileigh. She didn't, "...waaant new shoes." Whine, whine, whine...sigh...

Anyway, off we went to Stride Rite because my kids have the widest feet on earth and only Stride Rite makes wide shoes for kids. Of course, they cost $54.00 a pair, but hey, shoes gotta fit, right?

The store was jammed. We signed in and waited behind all the well behaved children. Zachary and Kaileigh decided to crawl under every bench and display in the store while i threatened them through gritted teeth. Jacob disowned us all and went and sat outside the store--on the floor--with his feet in the aisle where all the elderly people do their morning walk routine.

After thirty minutes of wondering why I ever decided to have children--if birth control failure can be considered making a decision--it was our turn. Zachary wanted the same shoes he has had for the last three years. I tried to steer him towards the ones with Velcro but it was a no go. This is only interesting because for the past five years my kids have begged me for shoes with Velcro and I have refused. I had a rule. You couldn't have Velcro shoes until you learned how to tie your shoes. No kid of mine was going to go off to college and not really be able to tie their shoes. Learn to tie your shoes and then you can have the Velcro.

Well, they all know how to tie their shoes--including Zachary, but now I want Velcro. I want Velcro because now that they CAN tie their shoes, they insist on doing it themselves. It forces me to plan for an additional thirty minutes anytime we go anywhere where shoes are required--which is just about anywhere. No matter where we are, middle of the street, torrential downpour, running from psycho killers with chainsaws--they will stop to tie their shoes and no, of course not, i am not allowed to help. I am beginning to think that I am a big fan of independence in THEORY only...it's kind of like Communism...it looks good on paper...

Back to my story...because it gets better...

Continue reading "Shoes, Dogs and Serial Killers...." »

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